Wonderful Wednesday #97
On feeling overwhelmed + some much needed bright bits to remember from lately.
Nothing quite shouts ‘the epitome of disorganisation!!’ like a December to do list scribbled across the back of an envelope, does it?
This year, I have surpassed myself. Not only am the least organised I have ever been in December—albeit no more than a couple of days in to December but, we all know how this end of the year likes to pick up pace!— but I am also teetering on the least uninclined(?) I have ever felt to Get On With It. I have been sat here for the last half an hour with at least a million(!!!) tabs open on my desktop and a handful more in my head wondering where to even begin. So, if that’s you, then that’s me too and you’re not alone. Somebody once said there was safety in numbers or something like that…
I digress. I have decided I’m blaming this all of a sudden deeper tumble into festive denial/anxiety on the Black Friday cloud that seems to have swallowed up not only this last weekend but, the entirety of the last month too. I am nearly certain that my overwhelm has simply begun earlier because of it and, that I’m up to my neck at a time of the year where I’m only ever usually knee-deep by now but with plenty more wiggle room left before the month runs away with me.
The thing is, the more ‘noise’ that there is around Christmas (extra marketing emails, extra people in shops, extra stuff—even extra discounts: Extra extra extra lalalalalalaaaaa— simply equals more pressure for people like me who struggle a bit at this end of the year. And that’s before we even think about Christmas Day menus, tables capes, to-watch lists and the emotions and politics(?) around family and friends. To be honest, you really have lost me already. A bit ago actually.
It’s not that I don’t subscribe to gift-giving, to merriment and to good food and rest; it’s that I already feel as if I already have enough. Plenty in fact. I am the most grateful I have ever been for all that makes up my messy, mostly muddy, busy little life. And as much as I actually quite like gift giving there is so MUCH of everything to give these days: To sift through, rifle and be sure you’ve picked the best thing— and so many ways, places and tricks(?) to acquire it that the thought of even trying to begin actually fills me with dread. Where does one begin?!
I think, all of those things, combined with a time of the year where I feel much more inclined to retreat, to rest and to expect less of myself already (something which I very much champion and that’s garnered pace each year that turns and the older I become). I know so many of us struggle with this end of the year; with the lacking light, the cold, the damp and the days that feel as if they’ve barely begun before they descend into darkness all over again. I get it. I have not had dry feet or a dry pup for more than a day at best since…well I can’t even remember.
But I’m a firm believer that deep down, Winter isn’t for as much light, bright, noise and fullness as it’d have you believe and, that actually most of the loudest bits are tied to consumerism and the idea that to be merry and bright we must need stuff. Let this be the most gentle nudge that, if like me you too struggle with Christmas. Or winter. Or Christmas and winter; then you are not alone. And, in the spirit of feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed at a time of year when it feels like everyone else isn’t, here are few small joys from lately that have been making me feel better, calmer and generally less overwhelmed by the sort of things nobody should feel overwhelmed by (ie: tablecloths, lost parcels and discounted things you never really wanted in the first place.
1 Home. Honestly lately never have I been more grateful for the (mostly) calm and warmth of home after long-feeling and busy days at work. A smattering of fairylights, simple home-cooked food, hot showers and early nights - they’re just some of the best bits of being at home. Create a haven: A place where you can let your shoulders drop, breathe some deep breaths and relax at the end of each day.
2 The light! The light! Gosh there have been some dark, damp and short days up here over the past few weeks. Whilst my reason to getting up and out each day is an impatient spaniel who loves her morning walks, there’s no doubt that this early morning ‘light’ (or the best of it I can get!) and that i manage to get on my walk or cycle to work makes for the best mood-booster. I highly recommend factoring in some fresh air and steps as early on in the day as you can. You will always feel better because if it.
3 Lists. I know I work well with a list. I have a lot of lists on the go at the moment but, I feel far less overwhelmed than I would without one. It keeps me focussed, stops me being distracted and ensures I stick to some sort of plan. I still very much subscribe to a pen and paper/sharpie and envelope for the simple act of writing is actually quite calming for me and means I have to think and not all of a sudden find myself on a random website looking for something that isn’t even on the list.
4 Staying true to what make me/us happy. There’s so much pressure at this end of the year that it’s easy to get lost and end up with the sort of Christmas Day that you think you want and not what you actually want. It’s usually only once I am home, screen-less and away from the rest of the world (dramatic but true) that I remember how little of most things I actually need to make our Christmas Day just as we like it to be.
5 A gentle routine. More than ever I’m grateful for the small rhythms and routines that make up my day. The little things that fasten each one together and tether Monday to Tuesday and so on. They’re not big things but they’re non-negotiable nonetheless.
I’d love to know what small joys have been making up your days lately and, how you feel about Christmas and the pressures that are hard to avoid at this time of year?
I hope that you’re not feeling too overwhelmed and are finding time to savour and enjoy some bright bits in amongst it all.
Very much feeling this too, Sally xx
You've totally hit the nail on the head: the constant push for over-consumption at this time of year has us all feeling overwhelmed. I am tired to the bone of those dang Black Friday emails that've lurked for about a month. We're actually not doing gifts in our family this year, instead we're all contributing something to the festive feast, and keeping it lowkey. I'm so excited! But I'd be lying if I didn't, too, feel completely overwhelmed by the noise of it all. Sending lots of love Sally xx