Wonderful Wednesday #125
Some lovely things from lately and some thoughts on balancing being on and offline.
I don’t think that there isn’t enough time. I think that there’s often too much priority given to the things that don’t deserve it as much. Which, as someone who has spent a lot of time always doing—relentlessly doing if that’s even a thing— I think that it’s something I can say or write or share with you without judgement, i hope.
I think, that for a long time(!) I just expected too much of myself in nearly all parts of my life. I thought that I wasn’t excelling or being successful or being the best friend, partner, daughter or person that I could be if I wasn’t always trying to be all of those things all of the time. Alongside the usual expectations of daily life, like sometimes having an empty wash basket and no dishes on the drainer.
These days we’re lucky that we can catch up digitally, check in remotely and ‘like’ things: posts, media, anything— from almost anywhere at any time. We’re always on even when we’re not, always available across any timezone and there are rarely many barriers between what we can and can’t see or what we choose to.
We can keep up to date with our favourites things in almost any sort of way instantly. It’s a relentless and vicious cycle that means that even when we stop and stand our emotions and our brains and maybe even our hearts are still taking in, processing, feeding on a could-be endless cycle that nobody ever intervenes in. And a sort of ‘not real life one.’ Or, at least not the life that is there to be lived right in front of our eyes.
A few weeks ago my dear friend Liv wrote about her career online, how it has changed and what it means to have a job that is rooted in the online world and in it she wrote something that has really stuck with me, wedged in tight and had me thinking about it often afterwards:
‘We should visit the internet. Not live there.’
I love to be inspired and to feel included and to interact with interesting people that, were it not for this ever-clever online world and its social media platforms I might have never discovered but, sometimes i have to remind myself that my emotional capacity isn’t really meant to be able to deal with that much stimulation and information. That, as adaptable and as clever as we are as humans, that we are simply not designed to process as much information as there is available to us today. That good and bad news and social media feeds and never-ending inboxes stimulate us in a way that feel overwhelming and stressful. And that's before I have even thought about that empty wash basket or dish drainer!
Sometimes—a lot— of the time lately I have had to remind myself of that. That being online, having a presence if you will: Checking in, showing up, being up to date and sharing things isn’t important. That being here and in the moment and trying to do one thing at a time will benefit me so much more and, that perspective and being able to recognise that at all—well; it’s a privilege really.
This week I needed to read the words that I am writing to you and I needed to read them so much that I wanted to share them with you too. I think that sometimes, in a world that is so fast, so ever-changeable and so….relentless, that we need to remember that we are not machines and that we are amazing because of that instead of in spite of it. And we are really not designed to do it all.
Doesn’t it just make these small-found joys and nearly forgotten moments more precious? And easier to look for too. Even the act of writing them down helps, you know.
1 Fresh mint. Torn up in cold water with slices if lemon, added to a fennel and nettle tea or torn through a herb-y salad or even dotted into greek yoghurt. It’s all I have been craving on these humid-feeling days.
2 Slow mornings. A non-negotiable forty minutes after the pup is fed that I set aside for a hot cup of tea, deep breaths, quiet and journalling. Before we head out for a walk somewhere green and some morning light on our cheeks.
3 Al fresco cup of teas all by myself. I write often here about time alone and, how I need it sometimes to recalibrate, to reset and to just be with only my own thoughts and no agenda. There is something special about a cup of tea sipped alone outside, isn’t there?
4 Reading in bed with the curtains open and a lamp on as the sun begins to set. I’m not sure if it actually does help but, being able to see the last of the light slip away and watch the big tree through our window as i sip my camomile tea and read for a little while before i go to sleep has been the loveliest change to my evening routine as the days have lengthened and stretched out. I think it’s so easy to head to bed and pull the curtains tight and shut out the day but actually, this has been a lovely ‘thing’ i discovered quite by accident and i think it could be the secret to good summer sleep!
What small, nearly forgotten joys are you most grateful for this week? Are you someone who enjoys time alone and a slow morning too? Do you find you also struggle with balancing an online life(?) with a real one and that the edges blur too…? I’d love to know!
Thank you so much for being here and for taking the time to read. There have been a few new faces recently and one day I shall get better at keeping up to date and there (and everywhere) but if that’s you hello and welcome
